Instagram Under My Skin ...

No, I'm not quitting Instagram but ... Oh, I'll start from the beginning, shall I?

Instagram came into my life at a time when IRL stress was causing my art practice to suffer, and I was happy to use the app as a way to keep doing art without the pressure of working seriously - I thought I could just post doodles for a while until I got myself together and that would be that.

But that short respite I was looking for, kept dragging on and before I knew it, years had passed without my situation improving. And in that time, Instagram changed.

What used to be a fun in-the-moment photo app, turned into a brand building career must with experts constantly telling you that if you’re not on Instagram - and successfully so - you’ll never “make it”.

There are obviously things I like about Instagram; it is great for finding stuff, people, artists, it’s a great gallery portfolio and a way to record your own progress. I love that I can see the world through it, I can meet people and see places - and art pieces - I never would otherwise. 

But the trick is to not let it take over your life and work. And that’s where it went wrong for me - and many others. Without even noticing, I was now creating for the grid; there was no depth to my work, no bigger picture or direction, just something to post that day. I feel like the whole Instagram experience has turned art into background noise.

And the mental stress I was hoping to “cure”, only grew.

Earlier this year I started to do online searches for others who might be in a similar situation. Right away I found several artists who brought up the issues with social media and Instagram in particular - issues I instantly recognised; like the stress of keeping up, the pressure to have an aesthetic and the need to constantly increase engagement.

These artists were pointing out the negative impact Instagram has on creativity and the art scene in a way that I had until now only vaguely, intuitively felt. And some of them were talking about leaving social media altogether.

Now, over the last few years, I’d already been experimenting with taking short breaks in my Instagramming, never more than a week, usually less; at the end of last year, I decided to take the weekends off. It helped a little but I’d still be thinking about having something ready to post on Monday.

I had an inkling that I needed more than a temporary fix.

But I still hadn’t taken the time to think the problem through properly, I was still hoping that a bit of rest would solve everything.

What turned out to be the final straw, was actually just a silly little detail; I realised that I was refraining from taking photos that wouldn’t fit the grid. It sounds like nothing but was an earth-shattering moment for me. I was losing out on memories because I couldn’t post them online. That actually made me angry. Angry enough to uninstall the app from my phone.

I’ve been off Instagram for almost two months now and I’m starting to find balance again.

I won’t be deleting my account because there are too many things I like about my online life, but I will make an effort to be aware of how I use Instagram and not the other way around.

To keep my focus, I made a list of points to try and stick to:

I won’t post every day.

I will post things I like.

I won't post everything.

I won’t do challenges.

I will share joy honestly.

I will create.

And hope it lasts.

So, like I said, it's been two months now and do I have anything to show for it? I mean, apart from time to think and breathe and enjoy being alive and well? Yes, apart from all that, I finished another graphic novel story! I just sent it off for printing and am now impatiently waiting for the physical books to arrive.

Here's s a sample:

As I'm looking at this drawing now, it suddenly hits me how very very long it's been since I've stood in a queue - never mind the pandemic and practically empty shops, but now that there aren't any post offices or banks anymore and everything is done online rather than in line, I'd forgotten I used to actually enjoy just waiting.

Oh, and I'm re-starting the blog again, hello. :)